Today, Cara from Storytellers for Good, left for India to initiate the first part of Surfing Possibility, Brown Girl Surf’s joint project to share the stories of India and Bangladesh's first female surfers.  I stayed home.  Here’s why.

Over 50 days ago, I submitted my application to obtain an Indian visa.  As I suspected from previous experience at the consulate, it was rejected due to my heritage.  I was told I needed to submit more information - my parents' original Indian passports, my birth certificate, and a copy of my parents’ naturalization certificates.   For those of you who don't know the history of India, I will give you a mini geography lesson.  Before 1947, modern day India, Pakistan and Bangladesh were all one nation  INDIA.  After 1947, the country was partitioned on the basis of religion (and a host of other political stuff).  My parents were born as Indians before partition.  They did not receive passports until India was Pakistan and Pakistan was Bangladesh. The Indian consulate in San Francisco states on their website that if one has any family affiliation to Pakistan, their visa will take a minimum of 6 weeks to process - a MINIMUM of six weeks. 

I wasn’t dealing directly with the consulate but with an outsourcing facility that processes everything for the consulate – an added layer of bureaucracy.  Since the consulate no longer dealt directly with visas, I decided I needed a strategy and attempted to access any influential connections within the South Asian community to help me. 
 
I started by e-mailing my dance arts organization to see if they could contact the consulate on my behalf.  At the suggestion of the arts organization, I wrote to the consul general himself.   No reply.  After 1 call and 12 e-mails back and forth with the arts organization, nothing.  My journalist friend in the South Asian community also wrote to the Consul General herself.  She did not hear anything back either.  I then sent 4 e-mails to my City Council contact who told me he’d have his office work on this issue.  We heard nothing.

I released my plea on Facebook.  My friend’s husband, a successful Silicon Valley businessman, had a contact!  7 e-mails and 2 calls later, he graciously offered to package and send my entire application himself to his personal contact at the consulate.  Unfortunately he received no response either.  (But how wonderful there are such caring people out there willing to lend a helping hand.) 
 
At the advice of the Silicon Valley businessman, finally just decided to send on as much information as I had to the visa processing center. I sent in copies of my parents' U.S. passports, their original Pakistani and Bangladeshi passports, their naturalization certificates as well as my birth certificate. 
 
A few days later, I received more deflating new - my visa was rejected again.  Their request this time? I was to provide a notarized affidavit that I never held a Pakistani passport nor was a Pakistani citizen, despite the fact I sent on my original birth certificate showing I was born in New Jersey where my family still lives (and yes, my parents did lose power for 10 days and my friend’s brother’s house got completely destroyed along with another friend’s home which was flooded due to Sandy.  They are all OK now.  You'd think there are more pressing things to fuss about than a visa, I know. )

Around this time, Brown Girl Surf ironically received a nomination for a Silicon Valley Award in the category of media and film.  Among the guestlist to the awards ceremony were several prominent members of the Indian consulate.  I figured the organizer would surely be able to help and would know someone at the consulate, since she was organizing an event featuring so many of them.  After 5 messages to the event planner with a recommendation I e-mail the vice consul of visas myself, and a call she graciously made on my behalf, I was told my visa was stuck in “processing” and that they had no control over when it would be approved.

I continued to contact my city council member, Congresswoman Barbara Lee’s office, leaders in the Indian American community, my friend in India who comes from a family of influence, more South Asian journalists  and an ultimate plea to a family member (who I forgot spent his whole career working on behalf of the government of India), but I couldn’t get a visa in time. No go.  No va.  So I canceled my ticket and re-purchased another one just to Bangladesh.  (which cost me an additional $500)  Boo! :( 

Yep, I felt defeated. Ishita (India's first female surfer) and I poetically expressed our disappointment through posting sad face icons on our Facebook pages.  We had Skyped with one another for the first time back in March and were so looking forward to this project. 

In times like these, I like to think about the good things in life, and acknowledge the usual global privledge my native U.S. citizenship gives me.  I also take solace by indulging in my $5.95 dark chocolate covered almond brittle from the Ferry Building.  All the while Cara dropped off her visa application to the processing center one morning, and she picked it up at 6 pm the same day.  No problem for her; she had the correct heritage. So Brown Girl Surf India will happen, but just not with this brown girl. 

So what’s next?  Well, Cara, and Ted, our Director of Photography, will commence the project with Storytellers for Good. I will then meet them in Bangladesh.

And so I’d like to take this opportunity to make lemonade out of lemons and share with you the 4 life lessons I learned from my Indian visa saga.  Yes, I know.  I KNOW - the fact that I am sharing life lessons from being jerked around for a tourist visa to India may seem really, really sad from a journalistic perspective.  But dig deeper, REALLY DEEP,  into the self-helper in you and  you will see there is much wisdom to uncover!  Here goes....

1.     Know when to call it quits

I have always prided myself on my persistence.  Just this afternoon I watched some tearful moments from the Olympics of this runner who tore a hamstring muscle in the middle of his race.  It kept him from winning of course, but he hobbled til the end.  Key messages like “never give up” and “go after your dreams" flashed on the bottom of the screen while really sappy music played in the background.  I wholeheartedly believe this philosophy; this is how I approached the visa process from the beginning. This is how I approach life.   If you keep on doing something, some law of physics dictates that what you aim to have happen will eventually happen, right?  Or does science have its limits?
 
By the 41st day of running around in circles spending money to fed ex my additional visa documents requested by the government of India, bothering my parents for their passports, obtaining this certificate and that piece of paper, persistenly calling my contacts, friends, leaders, and even a visa expetider in San Francisco, I was ready to pull my hair out. I was beyond frustrated; I was frozen.

I couldn’t plan to sublet my place out. I couldn’t buy my domestic tickets. I couldn’t move forward with details.  The process was also not serving the project and it was not serving me.   When I realized even the most influential of my friends couldn’t speed up the timeline, I made the decision to call it quits. 
 
Doing this brought me some peace in a way, and I was able to use the time to focus on other pressing details of the project instead of running around in a circle like an idiot.  Deep down, I truly felt that I gave it a good fight.   Calling it quits released me from this process and I can take solace knowing that the India leg is still in capable hands even though I won’t physically be there.  It was a tough call for a project I’ve been working on for over a year.  However, in certain situations, bless and release.

We all experience life through our own perspectives (as I’m learning in my coach training!).  Sometimes getting yourself out of one perspective can help you see  things in a new way.  I was recently visiting with my dear friend and former Board Member, Robert Chatwani, who heads Internet Marketing at eBay.  I was telling him about my visa adventures and how I’m not going to India.  I also was brainstorming with him about a new coaching and consulting practice I wanted to launch in January.  Given the situation, Robert looked at me and said "why wait?"   And this is where the re-framing came into play.  Even though I didn’t get the visa, I took it as a sign that maybe it’s time to gain a little momentum on the income-generating side of my life before I leave for Bangladesh.  (FYI: Check out  the site!  It just went live this week! www.farhanahuq.com)

Maybe now  I won’t be a pauper camping out in my friend’s backyard the next time I visit Hawaii.

3.     Know Any Brilliant People?  Befriend Them!
 
When I launched Surfing Possibility, I know many of you wondered "why surfing?", or "why should you care?"  To some, our intent for doing the project was not crystal clear.   Luckily, I surrounded myself with brilliant people who articulated it in a way I couldn’t.  These people had my back all through this process, and were ready at a moment’s notice to blog away on the Huffington Post about the visa discrimination or anything I'd ask of them for that matter.
 
Check out this post written on Brown Girl Surf on We Blog the World.  Hopefully you too will start to make the connection on why this project is not just about surfing, but about the right for women and girls to live freely in their bodies, and the right for them to have a highlighted voice in global discourse.  Once I started making this connection clear and was able to talk with brilliant people face to face about the project, they caught on and have been showing their support in so many ways.  It made it easy for them to show up and help out with something as lame as a visa. In the end they probably couldn't have altered the outcome, but their support was so incredibly helpful.

I truly believe you get what you give.  I count my blessings that I’ve had the opportunity to give a lot to others and to my community over the past 15 years.   Giving has expanded my network and has created an energy of generosity around me.  The people and relationships I called on when I needed help with my visa situation responded.   The relationships I made with my former C.E.O. Women board members and funders even tried to help out.  People I did not even know responded to help me.   I really believe if I hadn’t been giving, I wouldn’t have received all the support.  I feel so much gratitude all around. This is a special thank you for all those who tried to help out.  Gracias!!!  Arigatou!!!  Mahalo!!!
 
Despite the struggles, I'd still love for you to be part of our global network of friends to help see this project through, for all it represents.  We are 20% to our fundraising goal so are still trying to fill the gap. 

Please consider giving here:  www.indiegogo.com/surfingpossibility

(ALL CONTRIBUTIONS ARE TAX DEDUCTIBLE)

All the short documentaries, photos and writing produced will be used for educational purposes, shared online with global audiences to inspire people to live in their possibility.  They will also be used in speaking engagements to present on topics of gender, sports and empowerment.  It’s rare to non-existent to hear the perspectives from women in this part of the world on risk taking and the ocean, nonetheless.   We’re going to change that and I'm so happy some of you have already come on board!
 
For now, thanks again for following my journey.  I am looking forward to sharing with you what's to come!
 
Till next time!

Farhana

P.S. -

You can also make contribution to Surfing Possibility via our fiscal sponsor, Moving Train:

Make Check Payable to: Moving Train
Mail to:
Moving Train
1530 Frontrero Ave.
Los Altos, CA 94024
EIN #:80-0376076

Please put "Surfing Possibility/Storytellers for Good" in the Note section of the