Howdy Ho!
Well, I would have never thought my writings would turn into some type of self-help intersection between surf and life. However, this intersection seems to be a popular topic of choice among those who have been following the journey thus far. So, in the spirit of living in the moment, and in honor of NorCal new ageyness, I’m just gonna go with the flow.
Over the past few weeks, I have been spending time with a few friends who all happen to have one thing in common – they are trying to make the drop. I know what you non-surfers are thinking. What the hell is ‘the drop’? In surfing, the drop occurs the point after which you catch a wave, pop up onto your board, and then literally slide down the face of the wave.
Well, I would have never thought my writings would turn into some type of self-help intersection between surf and life. However, this intersection seems to be a popular topic of choice among those who have been following the journey thus far. So, in the spirit of living in the moment, and in honor of NorCal new ageyness, I’m just gonna go with the flow.
Over the past few weeks, I have been spending time with a few friends who all happen to have one thing in common – they are trying to make the drop. I know what you non-surfers are thinking. What the hell is ‘the drop’? In surfing, the drop occurs the point after which you catch a wave, pop up onto your board, and then literally slide down the face of the wave.
In the case of my friends, they aren’t sliding down waves. Rather, they are trying to make BIG changes in their lives. They are making the drop. (Go with me here on this analogy, please). For example, two of my friends are trying to jumpstart their passions into businesses. Another is trying to settle herself on the opposite coast of the country and establish herself as an artist. One knows she wants to divorce her husband, but is trying to keep it together for the sake of her kids. They are in this odd and sometimes uncomfortable space of in between; they want to take a big leap forward and are trying to figure it all out. I have been listening to what inspires them, what scares them, and what motivates them. In doing so, I not only related to them on so many levels, I became inspired to share some things I learned along the way that helped me make the drop – both in surf and in life. I’ve spent my entire adult career supporting people to make their drop in one way or another. The time has come to share the wisdom! Here goes!
- Make a Collage!
As a girl, I was always making something– baking cakes, drawing pictures, cutting out construction papers etc… So making a collage was like getting my mind back to its natural, creative state. I’d collect all these cool images from greeting cards, postcards, magazines, paper bags, stickers - you name it. When I felt like doing the collage, I’d go to the art shop, buy beautiful pieces of bold, bright, handmade papers. I’d then cut, organize, and paste them and start crafting my masterpiece. I wouldn’t think too much about it; I’d just go with the flow. I’d hang it on my wall in the hallway of my condo and look at it with all my newfound artistic pride. To me, it was art – something pretty to hang on my wall, and not much more than that. Or so I thought.
About a year and a half after doing the first one, I noticed something astounding - whatever I put down on the collage came true. Visions of the tropics and flip flop cut outs couldn’t have put me any squarer than in Bali. I consequently ended up spending 3 months there in 2010, with flip flops the only shoes I ever wore, until I got back and was wearing them one day in Oakland and the rubber strap broke and I was like ‘oh man! Not my Hawaianas!’. But I digress. That’s just one example. So I figured this just must be my subconscious way of planning. This led me to start making them more regularly when I felt like I wanted to get clear on my next direction in life, yet felt like I was floating in the space of in between. Wavy Gravy. Wavy Gravy. (I don’t know why I just wrote that. I’m just going with the flow here….can ya dig?) Anyways….
Here’s an excerpt from my most recent collage. (SHUT UP!) This illustrates the distinction between wanting to be a pro surfer vs. wanting to surf like a pro. My dream is the latter, of course. Side Note: I pasted a Patagonia sticker on there, because I secretly dream to one day be some kind of surf ambassador and travel around the world doing cool shit on not-my-tab. I also just think they are a great company and would love to collaborate with them. That very same day I found myself on the phone with the San Francisco Patagonia store discussing Brown Girl Surf TM and ways we might partner together. See? It really works.
About a year and a half after doing the first one, I noticed something astounding - whatever I put down on the collage came true. Visions of the tropics and flip flop cut outs couldn’t have put me any squarer than in Bali. I consequently ended up spending 3 months there in 2010, with flip flops the only shoes I ever wore, until I got back and was wearing them one day in Oakland and the rubber strap broke and I was like ‘oh man! Not my Hawaianas!’. But I digress. That’s just one example. So I figured this just must be my subconscious way of planning. This led me to start making them more regularly when I felt like I wanted to get clear on my next direction in life, yet felt like I was floating in the space of in between. Wavy Gravy. Wavy Gravy. (I don’t know why I just wrote that. I’m just going with the flow here….can ya dig?) Anyways….
Here’s an excerpt from my most recent collage. (SHUT UP!) This illustrates the distinction between wanting to be a pro surfer vs. wanting to surf like a pro. My dream is the latter, of course. Side Note: I pasted a Patagonia sticker on there, because I secretly dream to one day be some kind of surf ambassador and travel around the world doing cool shit on not-my-tab. I also just think they are a great company and would love to collaborate with them. That very same day I found myself on the phone with the San Francisco Patagonia store discussing Brown Girl Surf TM and ways we might partner together. See? It really works.
By putting your ideas down on paper, you are manifesting an energetic imprint in the world. My friend told me the other day she did one of these years ago. She pulled it out of her closet to show me, pointing to each word she wrote, explaining to me the pictures she pasted. “See?” she said. “These all came true.”
2. Be patient with yourself.
When I first learned to surf, I sucked. I mean, I really sucked. I tried a few times over the years, only to be left feeling frustrated. I had no muscle memory in my body of popping up, or of doing anything acrobatic for that manner.
2. Be patient with yourself.
When I first learned to surf, I sucked. I mean, I really sucked. I tried a few times over the years, only to be left feeling frustrated. I had no muscle memory in my body of popping up, or of doing anything acrobatic for that manner.
I grew up as a competitive martial arts athlete traveling all over the country competing and spending all of my summers in intensive training. As a young adult, I immersed myself in North Indian Classical dance, an ancient artform where you wear 4-8 pounds of bells on each ankle. In other words, I was used to feeling quite grounded, and doing things on a solid surface. Surfing was a totally different vocabulary for me – it required balance, precision, timing, and maneuvering through a moving medium (the ocean). I started to get the hang of popping up on my board only months after I started doing it regularly. It took me 6 months to paddle out on my own. You should know that I saw people at my same level, pop up and surf an unbroken wave on the very first day they grabbed a surfboard! Of course I was like, what’s wrong with ME? I felt so uncool. But I learned through this process that everyone is just different. Plain and simple. Everyone has their own fears and self-imposed limitations that they have to overcome at their own pace. In surfing, I learn everyday that you just cannot force things.
I’ve found that the same is true with making the drop in life; if you force yourself into processes in life when you’re not ready, you may find yourself like a deer in headlights. For example, for me, the collaging process comes quite easily, because that’s my preferred method of planning and communicating. For one of my friends, however, it wasn’t necessarily the case. The process didn’t flow as easily, and it took a lot of introspection and thought before she eventually finished it. There’s nothing wrong with that. That’s just where she is at; everyone is different. When you are thinking of making the drop in life, it’s important to be patient with yourself. As I said in my last blog post, reinventions take time. Just like it took me 6 months to feel comfortable popping up on a board, everyone is different. What works for one, does not work for another. Be patient. Don’t force it. But come back to it later, and you’ll be surprised by the newfound clarity that will emerge.
3. Take small steps .
Small steps lead to big leaps. The one thing that kept tripping me up after closing C.E.O. Women and starting Brown Girl Surf TM, was trying to figure out how the rest of my life was going to look, where the money was going to come from, where Brown Girl Surf TM fit into everything in my life, and how to monetize everything. It didn’t help having my father ask me what my “plans” were every time I spoke to him either. I was like, ‘Dad! Get off my back!’ It was driving me up the wall. It was only when my leadership coach, Liza Culick, (who is graciously sponsoring me with monthly coaching sessions that I am SO grateful for), said to me “why not think about things in the next 1-2 years?” That just FELT better. For one thing, I don’t even know what will be happening in my life18 months from now. Will I even be living in California? Will new doors and opportunities I never expected start to open up? I don’t know. We are so wired in this culture to think about the future, that we forget to live in the present. One of the things that is so amazing about surfing, is that it is all about the present moment. So I’m all for bringing a little surf spirit into your life so you can enjoy your days, and not fret too much about the rest of your life.
I’ve found that the same is true with making the drop in life; if you force yourself into processes in life when you’re not ready, you may find yourself like a deer in headlights. For example, for me, the collaging process comes quite easily, because that’s my preferred method of planning and communicating. For one of my friends, however, it wasn’t necessarily the case. The process didn’t flow as easily, and it took a lot of introspection and thought before she eventually finished it. There’s nothing wrong with that. That’s just where she is at; everyone is different. When you are thinking of making the drop in life, it’s important to be patient with yourself. As I said in my last blog post, reinventions take time. Just like it took me 6 months to feel comfortable popping up on a board, everyone is different. What works for one, does not work for another. Be patient. Don’t force it. But come back to it later, and you’ll be surprised by the newfound clarity that will emerge.
3. Take small steps .
Small steps lead to big leaps. The one thing that kept tripping me up after closing C.E.O. Women and starting Brown Girl Surf TM, was trying to figure out how the rest of my life was going to look, where the money was going to come from, where Brown Girl Surf TM fit into everything in my life, and how to monetize everything. It didn’t help having my father ask me what my “plans” were every time I spoke to him either. I was like, ‘Dad! Get off my back!’ It was driving me up the wall. It was only when my leadership coach, Liza Culick, (who is graciously sponsoring me with monthly coaching sessions that I am SO grateful for), said to me “why not think about things in the next 1-2 years?” That just FELT better. For one thing, I don’t even know what will be happening in my life18 months from now. Will I even be living in California? Will new doors and opportunities I never expected start to open up? I don’t know. We are so wired in this culture to think about the future, that we forget to live in the present. One of the things that is so amazing about surfing, is that it is all about the present moment. So I’m all for bringing a little surf spirit into your life so you can enjoy your days, and not fret too much about the rest of your life.
Take my friends as an example. Two of them are in the middle of starting businesses. They are each doing beta tests of their ideas, so they can learn from each small step and hone their ideas. One is making her product, and mailing it to all of her friends as a gift (me included!) to get feedback. Another is gathering friends and colleagues to be guinea pigs in a simulated experience of her business concept (me included again!) It’s raining start-ups! As for my other friend who is trying to set up her life on an opposite coast, she is going to spend a little time there to see how she likes it first. This sure beats having to rack her brain trying to figure out how her life is all going to work long term. I personally have visions of living half the year in the Hawaiian islands. I recently made arrangement to visit there for a month, and stay with friends who live a bit off the grid. In this way, I minimize costs, but can give myself a taste of what it’s like to live there. Testing your ideas and dreams, taking small steps and focusing on the shorter term will not only keep you from going crazy, but it will help you make the leaps you want to make in life.
4. DO!
I didn’t get the hang of surfing by taking lessons or by listening to feedback from others. I started to really get it when I would just do, over and over and over again.
4. DO!
I didn’t get the hang of surfing by taking lessons or by listening to feedback from others. I started to really get it when I would just do, over and over and over again.
When I was putting together Brown Girl Surf TM, I fretted weekly over my personal story, what the components of the blog would be, whether we should have a forum or not. I think I drove my best surfer buddy, Jackie, nuts. Every time we would find ourselves mired in what to do and how to approach it, we’d always remind ourselves not to suffer from the paralysis of analysis. We told ourselves that by doing something, the right path would be revealed. Though Jackie is a hard core planner with almost a decade of online marketing experience and know-how, she understood that in a phase of discovery, some things cannot be planned….that some things will just reveal themselves organically. In other words, we were comfortable knowing we did not know what the right path was. So to pull our hair out trying to make decisions so early was fruitless.
At the end of the day, a lot of decisions were made based on what FELT right. Sometimes if you think too much, it gets in the way. I am a big fan of just doing. This is not to put down planning in any way at all. But this post is about making the drop, and I’ve seen my fair share of people who plan and analyze so much only to never make the drop because they are too much in their HEAD. You gotta just DO, Mr. Magoo. Doo be doo be doo.
I hope these tips have been helpful to you. These days, it seems every friend I speak to wants to make a profound change in some aspect of her life. Some are contemplating starting a business. Some are getting to that pet project they have been talking about for years. Some even want me to teach them to surf! No matter what the metaphorical (or literal) drop is in your life, employ some of the principles above. By doing so you’ll be that much closer to getting there! Earth, go forth, and conquer!
Signing off from Oakland, CA
Farhana
At the end of the day, a lot of decisions were made based on what FELT right. Sometimes if you think too much, it gets in the way. I am a big fan of just doing. This is not to put down planning in any way at all. But this post is about making the drop, and I’ve seen my fair share of people who plan and analyze so much only to never make the drop because they are too much in their HEAD. You gotta just DO, Mr. Magoo. Doo be doo be doo.
I hope these tips have been helpful to you. These days, it seems every friend I speak to wants to make a profound change in some aspect of her life. Some are contemplating starting a business. Some are getting to that pet project they have been talking about for years. Some even want me to teach them to surf! No matter what the metaphorical (or literal) drop is in your life, employ some of the principles above. By doing so you’ll be that much closer to getting there! Earth, go forth, and conquer!
Signing off from Oakland, CA
Farhana
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